… or: assessing inherited blueprints
If you can’t fly, then run, if you can’t run, then walk, if you can’t walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.
- Martin Luther King Jr.
My late 2016 has felt as heavy as you can imagine. Everything felt dark, heavy, sad, with little perspective. Severe tightness in my thoughts didn’t allow for even imagining options. It just all seemed quite hopeless. I certainly saw that it’s time for change in many respects, I just couldn’t imagine anything different and any vision I tried on, felt like I want to shake it off before I could even grasp it fully.
Long story short, there was just huge general resistance based on a fat and chunky amount of fear which I noticed, but neither knew where it was coming from, nor being able to grasp it, or being able to shake it off sustainably.
Spaciousness is my medicine, always. Clear views like wide open sea on the outer perspective inspire the same on the inner perspective. A good amount of perceived outer chaos and freakiness heals my inner tightness. Especially when it comes to trying as hard as possible to fit into my inner, inherited blueprints of myself, before assessing if they actually fit into MY PRESENT MOMENT of my life. And if the reality I’m choosing is more a “how I should be” than an actual imprint of who I am and have evolved into.
Join me for cleaning up 5 aspects of the “growing up process” and making some space for lightness and options, for a more free choice and creativity in the painting of life which we draw in our every day choices of thoughts, big and small decisions.
Before heading out into the vastness of our inner blueprints and the more or less realistic ideas we have of who think we’re supposed to be in our adult reality, let’s take a look at the available definitions of that process and what this process is actually about.
Most common and general definitions of “growing up” go something like:
- To gradually become an adult
- To expand
- To develop and reach maturity
I’m gonna be honest with you, when reading this I wonder:
- most people I meet whom I consider “adults” are kind of miserable in comparison to most 2-4 year olds I meet. The 2-4 year olds spark joy, curiosity and open possibility. So I wonder: What does it mean to be an adult? And even more: Is it attractive to be one?
- When touching on expansion I see the most common expansion happening more in body-size, than in creative thought or any other part of humanness.
- Development is inevitable. To reach maturity is another vast topic… what is maturity? Something like being able to hold ownership of our life in terms of thoughts, emotions, actions. I see some managing, some not.
There is something interesting happening in us as we walk through time and our social genes and structures make us relate to our peer group in one or the other way. There are cultural time lines occurring and they seem to create psychological stress in the individual relating to mass consciousness and our need to “fit in”. I find this so interesting and can’t stop reflecting upon it.
I came up with 5 areas to be aware of to not be eaten up internally by mass-conscious-non-sense and to stay grounded within my own individual reality.
- The System aka Hamster Wheel
- Our definition of “Home”
- The dance between freedom and security
- Our relationship with responsibility
- Our capability to expand our vision into something bigger than our own individual self
Let's take a look at the first one...