Milky Ways Of Life
Reflections of a breastfeeding mum on holiday
My baby - she is actually not a baby anymore, I think the official definition would be a toddler?! - is 2 years and four months and it is the first weekend that I go and spend on my own. Not for work, not for any other reason, than to reconnect with ME and I’m excited to see who this is / has become.
2 days ago I decided that the phase of breastfeeding is over. And exhausted from two weeks of teaching in the middle east I decided that I need to spend some time by myself. Having the most amazing husband supporting me in my decision by taking care of the little one. Me, wanting to spend some time in Dahn in a close by wellness center. As they don’t have any room left, I have to find an alternative. so what do I do?
A friend of mine from Catalunya is coming to Germany and he plays Bhakti chants with a group in Freiburg. It’s 1:45h away and I would like to see my friend Julia there also, so I go.
I go and I check in into a hotel close by the concert venue. I drop my stuff and spend some time in a thermal bath, enjoy sauna and spa, have the most amazing time… although I realise:
I’m getting pooped out of my bubble quite roughly. Having spend so much time with my daughter and my husband, having spend so much time in communities, retreat centres, big cities like Amsterdam, San Francisco that really adjust very quickly to new… let’s say… mmh, new consciousness / lifstyle; just like New York or Berlin where you walk into a café and order a soy latte and they give it to you, easily.
This weekend?! There was not one single Café I found. When I was asking for soy milk or any alternative milk: “No, sorry madame, we don’t have”. Not even in Freiburg. The metropole of freedom, a considerably modern city of this country. No, no chance, no alternative milk.
Well for sure there are Cafés that are equipped. In the end there is always Starbucks, no? And most probably other places if you know where to go… I’m speaking about my limited experience of having an hour in the city… unwilling to walk for miles.
Milky ways of life?!
A whole reality unfolds in my consciousness... Here I am. I decided to spend some time away from my daughter. My boobs are full of milk, and I realise: every single time she latches on I’m lovingly nurturing my child... "my child". I would not give one single Milliliter away if it was not for a hungry CHILD of another mother or for life saving circumstances. I tried the pumping in the past and it feels terribly awkward and just super odd to me. So here I go comparing my own situations with the destiny of the cow. Knowing that all of the cows milk is coming from a mother, a cow, that only wants to feed it’s calf.
Even if my "No-Dogma-Veganism" might have popped up in the desire of a coffee: No, I do not want a Cappuccino with cow’s milk. I feel my strained boobs again... Because the milk belongs to the calf!
So what do I do?
Well I guess then it is no coffee for me this time. I’ve been to the thermal bath, I’ve been to Cafés, I’ve been to supermarket cafés, I’ve been in the center of town, I’ve been to restaurants: “Do you have soy milk?” “No, sorry madam.” As they shake their heads I see them saying: “No, we don’t have alternative milk and what is wrong with you woman? Yes, we really like to see the cows struggling, we really like to see them being pinched into a small space where they stand hundreds and hundreds just for sake of getting their milk pumped out of their boobs.” People, can you not f****** open your eyes and see what’s going on on this planet? I’m really, I’m kind of fed up and I’m also a little frustrated.
Still my boobs are full of milk and I’m on my way home: “ Will give the milk to my baby?” No, I’m done, I’ve done my work, my baby is 2 years and four months and every time she latches on I don’t feel comfortable anymore. I’m ready to nourish my body again and to feed back what it has been giving and to come back to my own self.
To me that moment in town was a moment of powerful truth arising from "Swadhyaya" self-study. As I study in my self, my perception, observations and the feelings in my body: The only thing I want to do is I want to honour every sentient being on this planet. I want to honour their dignity and truly I would love for them to be able to decide for themselves or let nature decide how long, how much, how often to breastfeed to who.
I believe that the holocaust that we set up with the animals at the moment has to come to an end right now. And I want to ask YOU: “What do you tell your children what side have YOU chosen in this animal holocaust as it is happening in this very moment?”
What’s on your breakfast table? What do you put in your coffee?