"Confidence is at the root of so many attractive qualities, a sense of humour, a sense of style, a willingness to be who you are no matter what anyone else might think or say…”
- Wentworth Miller
The practice of Yoga brings inevitably a constant stripping off of layers of personality. It can be seen like the endless layers of an onion, that take us from the gross outer layers, to the subtle and small inner ones until there is… nothing.
Often clarity reveals itself in the retrospection and in a flashback I remember how desperate I was when I lost my hair due to a complex sickness just before I turned eighteen. I had no clue how much I identified with my hair until I lost it. And only when I really let go of it, shaved my head to three millimeter, I found out what a majorly liberating thing it was to know: I am not my hair, and the world continues to turn.
Coming back to today I can clearly say that a big chunk of my confidence in my adult life so far was grounded in my intellectual education, my independence, capacity to structure information, my profound preparation of anything I’d share in public (no matter what set up, university, Yoga class etc.).
As I finally manage again to sit in mediation on a daily basis, I noticed an upcoming lack of self-confidence over a longer period of time and I went into deeper inquiry and came to the conclusion; The way I have chosen to navigate the early childhood days of my daughter doesn’t give the me time capacity to savour those confidence building qualities such as investing in education, prepare classes and talks with the same amount of time and research I did earlier.
So: Time for a new foundation of confidence and I feel it is a much more sustainable one with a tremendous longevity as it’s more universal. The first and foremost thing to really swallow and embody is: I AM ENOUGH. And instead of grounding my confidence on a belief of myself of how I’m suppose to be, I rather take the authenticity I wrote about yesterday as a foundation and define my self-confidence as “the courage to think, speak and act in congruency to my inner feeling of what is necessary to be thought, spoken or done in the very present moment of each point in time”.
That means for me set boundaries within my family to preserve my well-being as most of my time I’m in service. That also means for me sometimes dedicated handstand training and sometimes dropping out completely for a whole day in the Sauna, on one weekend immersing myself in the teaching and holding space for a group and on another being 100% present with my family…. All of this with the practice of embodying: I AM ENOUGH.
I’m excited to hear you self-confidence boosters!!!
“Self confidence is the best outfit, rock it and own it.”
Photo credits for the visual artists:
Yohann Guichard photography (h2h picture)
Pascal Weis capturing beauty all through our days.